Forgiveness & Mercy: Forgiving those who have done wrong; accepting the shortcomings of others; giving people a second chance; not being vengeful. Personified for example by Pope John Paul II (Source: VIA Institute)

The Noel Strengths Academy defines it this way:

Willing to forgive those who have done wrong
Tolerant of others
Grants “second chances”
Gives grace when others come up short
Not vengeful when wounded by others
Avoids holding grudges

Yes, strengths can be overused…or underused

Underuse: Emotional Isolation
Overuse: Emotional Promiscuity

Key Research:

Rank order of Forgiveness in populations from:
- US : 19
- European: 18
- Asia: 18
- Latin America: 20
- Sub-Saharan Africa: 20
- Middle east: 21
Popular students, as identified by teacher ratings, are more likely to score highly on civic strengths such as leadership and fairness, and temperance strengths of self-regulation, prudence, and forgiveness. Interestingly, none of the humanity strengths such as love and kindness were related to popularity (Park & Peterson, 2009b).
Character strengths with a developmental trajectory (least common in youth and increase over time through cognitive maturation) are appreciation of beauty & excellence, forgiveness, modesty, open-mindedness (Park & Peterson, 2006a; 2006b).

Tayyab Rashid and Afroze Anjum offer 340 Ways to Use VIA Character Strengths including these four for Forgiveness:

Evaluate your emotions before and after forgiving someone. Compare these emotions to your feelings when you hold a grudge.
Understand from the offender’s perspective why he/she offended you. Then assess whether your reaction is hurting you more than the offender.
Make a list of individuals against whom you hold a grudge, then either meet them personally to discuss it or visualize whether bygones can be bygones. Put the original offense into its proper context and perspective.
Plan out what your response should be the next time someone offends you. Remind yourself of your plan (rehearse if possible) and periodically affirm, No matter how he/she offends me, I will respond as I have planned.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
“Forgiveness is a Choice” by Robert D. Enright Written by a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness, this book provides a step-by-step guide to understanding and practicing forgiveness, including practical exercises and case studies.
“The Book of Forgiveness” by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu In this book, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter explore the concept of forgiveness from a spiritual and philosophical perspective, drawing on their personal experiences and the teachings of various religions.
“The Forgiveness Workbook” by Mary Hayes Grieco This workbook offers a structured approach to forgiveness, with exercises and reflections designed to help readers work through the process of forgiving themselves and others.
“The Forgiving Life” by Robert D. Enright This book explores the benefits of forgiveness and how it can contribute to personal growth, healthier relationships, and overall well-being.
“Forgive for Good” by Dr. Fred Luskin Written by a leading researcher in the field of forgiveness, this book provides practical strategies for overcoming the challenges of forgiveness and cultivating a more forgiving mindset.

Learn more about Forgiveness

On one awful night in 1995, Ples Felix’s 14-year-old grandson murdered Azim Khamisa’s son in a gang initiation fueled by drugs, alcohol and a false sense of belonging. The deadly encounter sent Khamisa and Felix down paths of deep meditation, to forgive and to be forgiven — and in an act of bravery and reconciliation, the two men met and forged a lasting bond. Together, they’ve used their story as an outline for a better, more merciful society, where victims of tragedy can grow and heal. Prepare to be moved by their unimaginable story. “Peace is possible,” Khamisa says. “How do I know that? Because I am at peace.”

Phyllis Rodriguez and Aicha el-Wafi have a powerful friendship born of unthinkable loss. Rodriguez’ son was killed in the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001; el-Wafi’s son Zacarias Moussaoui was convicted of a role in those attacks and is serving a life sentence. In hoping to find peace, these two moms have come to understand and respect one another.

The capacity to release the armoring of hatred and blame is intrinsic to our evolving consciousness. This talk explores the process of authentic forgiveness, and how we can use the mindfulness-based tool of RAIN to heal and free our hearts.

• More Resources on RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture

This talk explores the three key elements that support this process: 1- Self-forgiveness 2- Accessing a source of love and safety 3- Bringing a kind attention to the sensations in the body Spiritual awakening often involves offering a healing presence to the suffering of post traumatic stress or deep emotional wounding.

Nobel Peace Laureate and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama visited the University of Limerick for a special address on the theme of Forgiveness on Thursday, 14 April 2011. This address was part of an event including music presented by the Ritual Chant Programme at the Irish World Academy, University of Limerick, featuring the children’s choir selected from the Irish Chamber Orchestra Youth Chorus. The event was being organised in conjunction with Children in Crossfire established by Richard Moore, a long-time friend of the Dalai Lama.

Podcasts to feed your Forgiveness

“Forgiveness” – Unlocking Us with Brené Brown Summary: Brené Brown shares insights from her research on the transformative power of forgiveness. URL: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/forgiveness/
“The Science of Forgiveness” – Hidden Brain (NPR) Summary: This episode examines the psychological and health benefits of practicing forgiveness. URL: https://www.npr.org/2019/06/24/735639443/the-science-of-forgiveness
“How to Forgive” – The Psychology Podcast Summary: Strategies and frameworks for working through feelings of hurt and extending forgiveness. URL: https://scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/how-to-forgive/
“The Power and Practice of Forgiveness” – Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris Summary: Dan Harris discusses forgiveness from both a scientific and spiritual/contemplative perspective. URL: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/power-and-practice-of-forgiveness
“The F Word: The Burden and Gift of Forgiveness” – The Rich Roll Podcast Summary: Examining the challenges and personal growth that can come through forgiveness.
URL: https://richroll.com/podcast/the-f-word/

The Best Life: Forgiveness and Loving Yourself: A Round Table

Although forgiveness can feel like one of life’s impossible tasks, it is key in moving on and achieving peace within yourself. In order to reach complete self-love, we must first forgive others, and most importantly forgive ourselves. Shanna Mota is highly practiced in forgiveness, and in this round-table discussion with Danny and Jill, ponders what it means to love yourself completely, and how forgiving is the secret to attaining the Best Life.

The Art of Relationships Podcast

Why forgiveness is essential to every relationship

Most Americans will say that forgiveness is important, but when you have something to forgive, it becomes really difficult to do. The way in which you give and extend forgiveness can really shape a relationship. In this podcast, we explore what forgiveness is and isn’t, and take you through the process of dealing with deep hurts.

Four Key steps to Forgiveness