You can learn in many ways, from school to lectures, to conversation or experiences….all are valid. One of most accessible and popular is simply reading books. Ralph Waldo Emerson suggest that “If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.” Whil a book should expand our intellect, what we think about. You should move off the best seller lists and pick up some obscure titles for, as Haruki Murakami reminds us, “If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.” But, you need to process it, you need to make it your own thinking. “Keep reading books, but remember that a book is only a book,” reminds Maxim Gorky, “and you should learn to think for yourself.” And it in thinking for yourself, you write your own meaning, which is the essence of reading according to W. Somerset Maugham: “The only important thing in a book is the meaning that it has for you.” As you construct your own meaning, your soul grows or so it would seem to Marcus Tullius Cicero who observed that “A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
Some of us are obsessed by books, as Henry Ward Beecher warned: “Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?” and Jorge Luis Borges confessed that “I cannot sleep unless I am surrounded by books.” For people like us, the week and sleepless, we horde books like misers do gold. And the Japanese have a word for us: Tsundoku
The word dates back to the very beginning of modern Japan, the Meiji era (1868-1912) and has its origins in a pun. Tsundoku, which literally means reading pile, is written in Japanese as 積ん読. Tsunde oku means to let something pile up and is written 積んでおく. Some wag around the turn of the century swapped out that oku(おく) in tsunde oku for doku (読) – meaning to read. Then since tsunde doku is hard to say, the word got mushed together to form tsundoku.
It strikes me that people strong in Love of Learning or Curiosity may well experiecne this phenomenon more that people of other character strengths. I agree with Frank Zappa “So many books, so little time.”
And just spotted this one to continue with the theme:
“The best I can say is that as parents, you can engineer the life you want your kids to have, but it may not be the life they want to have. You have to encourage them to pursue their passions. And you have to spend more time on them than you spend on anything else.”
–Ed Zuckerberg, father of Mark, or as he says, he is literally the “Father of Facebook“
I like his sentiment…a lot. I just wish he had not said “Pursue their passions.” The problem with passion is that it rarely leads to productivity. Was Zuck passionate about computers? Yes. He learned programing in middle school. He took a graduate level course while still in high school and had private tutoring. But we was also passionate about Greek mythology and fencing. I wish he had said parents need to encourage their kids to pursue their interests passionately. Slight but important difference. You can be interested in something and have no passion. “It’s often said the key to finding a great career is “following your passion” or “finding your calling.” says the excellent website 80,000 hours. “Follow your passion. But this isn’t very helpful advice. Most people don’t know what their passion is, and even if they do, following your passion could easily end in failure and little social impact.”
A better way, indicated Cal Newport, is find a way to cultivate a unique and valuable skill and then get really good at it. That takes Passion. Both Zuckberg and Gates clearly pursued their interests in Computers passionately. Will Smith and Kevin Costner did it in acting. Anita Roddick (Body Shop), JK Rowling (Writing), Michael Jordan (Basketball), Kurt Hahn and Maria Montesouri (education), and so many others are stellar examples of people who put in the time to cultivate their interests passionately to emerge top of their respective fields.
According to personality theory, when an individual becomes stressed, they will find themselves in the grip of their shadow side of their persoanlity type, sort of a distorted view of the polar opposite of one’s normal personality. While much research ahs shown the benefits of mindfulness in handling stress. Now a couple of writers are advocating specific mindful practices to specific personality types to combat stress.
The ideas below come directly from Gabriel Taylor and ring true to my thinking on both meditation and personality types. Read the whole Article. Basically, for each type she suggests one or more of the following practices:
Mindfulness meditation
Spiritual meditation
Zazen meditation
Mantra meditation
Movement meditation
Mindfulness meditation: This is the most commonly known meditation. By being present, allow whatever thoughts occur to rise then detach. Be aware of your breath patterns, deep breaths mean you’re slowing down and relaxing, shallow breaths means you’re tensing up. This quieting of the mind by letting thoughts come and go and being more of an observer will naturally allow the meditator to let go of any invading thoughts, the goals is not to empty the mind but to notice and let go. This is ideal for ISTJ, ISFJ, ISFP and INFJ.
Try 20 Minute Seated Meditation guided by Steven Hickman ((8Mb)This is a slightly shorter version of the standard 45-minute Seated Meditation used in the MBSR course). More at UCSD.
Spiritual meditation: This is a good solution for those that are facing a problem and need a higher power for guidance to work through it. You can practice this anywhere quiet, just sit still, form your problem into a query and listen for your higher powers guidance. This meditation would be good for the types ESTP, ENTJ, ESFP and ESFJ.
Zazen meditation: This meditation is more traditional and takes disciple to practice due to long periods of stillness in one position. Its focus is on holding position, focusing on breath and being discipled to stay present with a clear mind for long periods of time. It is perfect for those that are unafraid of self-study and reflection. Types such as INTP, INFP, ISTPand ENFJ may find the challenge appealing.
Mantra meditation: Is simply repeating a word or words while meditating. You can look to tradition and use Om or bring your own like love or joy. Chanting helps keep the meditator focused and cuts down on distraction for deeper meditation practice. Types INTJ, ISTPand ISFP would benefit most from this style.
Movement meditation: For those that find it difficult to sit still and do nothing or be silent. To gain the multiple benefits of meditation, one doesn’t have to sit and be still. You can still clear your mind, slow your thoughts and let go of stress by slowing down your movements, and listening to relaxing music. Yoga, Qi gong, walking, are movement meditations. For example, in yoga, you can chose to meditate on one thing while you are going through the poses, like peace of mind. You can also take a nature walk, and mindfully let go of any stress-full thoughts. Some will even practice this while doing chores, it’s just a matter of being present. ENTJ, ESTJ, ENTP and ENFP personalities will find this exercise may suit them best.
In a course I taught this summer, someone mentioned that they had seen a document comparing the IB Learner Profile with the VIA Character Strengths. An IB coordinator identifed that many character strengths are embeed in the IB Learning profiel but only provided a list of the traights, not explicitly linking it to any of the 8 profile statements: “Creativity, Ingenuity, Originality, Curiosity, Judgement and Critical Thinking, Love of Learning, Perspective, Valour and Bravery, Diligence/ Perseverance, Integrity, Honesty Vitality, Zest, Enthusiasm Kindness and Generosity Loving and being Loved, Social/Emotional Intelligence, Citizenship, Duty, Equity, Fairness Leadership, Self Control, Forgiveness, Modesty, Prudence, Caution, Appreciation of Beauty, Gratitude, Hope, Optimism, Playfulness, Sense of Purpose”
Having not been able to find a more specific document, I created my own; mine looks specifically for primary connections as opposed to secondary one. Certainly, for example, you could argue leadership is present when working indepeendently as stated in the inquires bullet, but it is not specific enough to
The IB Learner Profile
IB learners strive to be:
Inquirers
They develop their natural curiosity. They acquire the skills necessary to conduct inquiry and research and show independence in learning. They actively enjoy learning and this love of learning will be sustained throughout their lives.
They explore concepts, ideas and issues that have local and global significance. In so doing, they acquire indepth knowledge and develop understanding across a broad and balanced range of disciplines.
They exercise initiative in applying thinking skills critically and creatively to recognize and approach complex problems, and make reasoned, ethical decisions.
They understand and express ideas and information confidently and creatively in more than one language and in a variety of modes of communication. They work effectively and willingly in collaboration with others.
They act with integrity and honesty, with a strong sense of fairness, justice and respect for the dignity of the individual, groups and communities. They take responsibility for their own actions and the consequences that accompany them.
They understand and appreciate their own cultures and personal histories, and are open to the perspectives, values and traditions of other individuals and communities. They are accustomed to seeking and evaluating a range of points of view, and are willing to grow from the experience.
They show empathy, compassion and respect towards the needs and feelings of others. They have a personal commitment to service, and act to make a positive difference to the lives of others and to the environment.
They approach unfamiliar situations and uncertainty with courage and forethought, and have the independence of spirit to explore new roles, ideas and strategies. They are brave and articulate in defending their beliefs.
They give thoughtful consideration to their own learning and experience. They are able to assess and understand their strengths and limitations in order to support their learning and personal development.
What do you think parents want more for their children?
Be happy in life
Lead a healthy lifestyle
Earn enough to enjoy a comfortable life
Be successful in their career
Fulfil their potential
According to a survey of over 5000 parents in 16 countries by banking great HSBC, 64% want happiness. Parents were asked to pick their top three, in rank order. HSBC then breaks it out by country:
Q: What are the three most important goals that you want your child to achieve as an adult?
More individualist socieites emphasized happiness. I personally am surprised to se China rank so high on lifestyle and so low on earning enough to have a comfortable life. Not sure what to make of this other than people in developing nations who have an HSBC bank account probably already have a comfortable life that they intend to pass onto their children. How does this compare to the UN Happy country index?
So ambition may not represent current reality, but hope can be a powerful motivator.
Want training in positive psychology training? I will be doing some training in Shanghai in January 2016.
Date: Jan 16-17
School: Shanghai American School Title: Flourishing in Schools: Utilizing groundbreaking research and tools from positive psychology to improve student’s wellbeing. Consultant: Shaun McElroy Coordinator: Janet Claassen, janet.claassen@saschina.org » Download Flyer » Registration
Many people have heard the mantra: “follow your passions.” Aside from being completely wrong as career advice, it leaves out how to even cultivate a passion that lends itself to what the world needs. This article goes into mor depth than the one published in Shanghai Daily.
Start with reviewing the VIA character results of your teen. Even better take your own so you can better understand it. It is free. You can get a foundational understanding in this movie:
Research shows that people who use their signature strengths regularly are less stressed, more fufilled, happier, more energized, report higher levels of well-being etc.
As you examine your teen’s interests, skills, passions etc, always come back to which character strengths is this feeding. Ken Robbinson calls this your element:
His two books are well worth the read. You can learn more in this much more in-depth video. Another way of thinking about finding your element is asking what is your purpose. Conceptually, helping your teen find their purpose looks like this:
The world needs it
What does the world need? According to Fortune, here is the list of jobs with the greatest outlook in 2015.
1. Registered Nurses 2. Truck Drivers 3. Customer Service Representatives 4. Sales managers 5. Sales Representatives 6. First- line supervisors or managers of retail sales workers 7. Software quality assurance engineers and testers 8. General and operations manager 9. Managers (all other) 10. Accountants and auditors –
Forbes has a list of jobs requiring college degrees The problem of course is what if you do not like any of these jobs? You could look where the jobs are
Oddly you can check a different source and come up with a different list.
You are paid for it
If you got to work, you may as well get paid for it. So which jobs pay the best? Payscale has an answer that a lot of literature majors are not going to like. Of the top 30, 28 are STEM degrees with a heavy emphasis on Engineering.
You are good at it
The theory goes that if you are good at it, it must come easy to you and you must enjoy it. While this idea does not hold up under scrutinity (many people are good at stuff they work hard at and you can be good at thing you do not enjoy), it does suggest the idea of getting good at stuff. And some stuff is actually wanted by employers. According to National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE), employers desperately want college gradautes to
1. Ability to work in a team structure
2. Ability to make decisions and solve problems (tie)
3. Ability to communicate verbally with people inside and outside an organization
4. Ability to plan, organize and prioritize work
5. Ability to obtain and process information
6. Ability to analyze quantitative data
7. Technical knowledge related to the job
8. Proficiency with computer software programs
9. Ability to create and/or edit written reports
10. Ability to sell and influence others
You can start helping your teen developing these transferable skills through school work and particpation in clubs, activities and itnernships. Binghamton has a worksheet to self evaluate which skills you are developing.
While you can focus on developing these skills, these skills show up in the most unqiue places, often unexpectedly. Rita J. King advocated the value of serendipity in career development:
This suggests pushing your kids for unique exeriences.
“You need to be exposed to many things. You should expose yourself even though you might not know if you’ll be interested.” Linda Caldwell
I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.
A lot of people took this to mean “follow your passion!” Only that is not what Steve meant. He talked about finding what you love. Moreover he ends with this:
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Passion is wonderfully energizing, but also complicated as Robert Vallerand explains:
“Passion comes from a special fit between an activity and a person. You can’t force that fit; it has to be found.” Geneviève Mageau, psychology professor at the University of Montreal.
Peter Benson, president of the Search Institute provides a path for parents to follow in coaching their children in the book Sparks:
In addition, I suggest you need to help your kids adopt and use a growth mindset:
You can learn more about Carol Dweck’s work at her website and this video.
With summer on the horizon, there is a great opportunity to explore new horizons:
For parents of introverts, I strongly recommend reading Susain Cain’s great book Quiet:
Possibly the best book I have seen for teens is Cal Newport’s “how to be a high school superstar.”
Cal Newport offers great advice on his blog, Studyhacks. You can get a flavour of his insights at his talk at Google in which he makes the case to cultivate your passion. As Cal Newport states, “Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.”
As your teen explores their world, feeding their strengths and fanning the sparks of what may become a great passion, one that has transferable skills or gives them insight to their purpose on the planet, help them develop an attitude of gratitude. Martin Seligman offersa very simply, but powerful activity:
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
Many people have heard the mantra: “follow your passions.” Aside from being completely wrong as career advice, it leaves out how to even cultivate a passion that lends itself to what the world needs. This article goes into mor depth than the one published in Shanghai Daily.
Start with reviewing the VIA character results of your teen. Even better take your own so you can better understand it. It is free. You can get a foundational understanding in this movie:
Research shows that people who use their signature strengths regularly are less stressed, more fufilled, happier, more energized, report higher levels of well-being etc.
As you examine your teen’s interests, skills, passions etc, always come back to which character strengths is this feeding. Ken Robbinson calls this your element:
His two books are well worth the read. You can learn more in this much more in-depth video. Another way of thinking about finding your element is asking what is your purpose. Conceptually, helping your teen find their purpose looks like this:
The world needs it
What does the world need? According to Fortune, here is the list of jobs with the greatest outlook in 2015.
1. Registered Nurses 2. Truck Drivers 3. Customer Service Representatives 4. Sales managers 5. Sales Representatives 6. First- line supervisors or managers of retail sales workers 7. Software quality assurance engineers and testers 8. General and operations manager 9. Managers (all other) 10. Accountants and auditors –
Forbes has a list of jobs requiring college degrees The problem of course is what if you do not like any of these jobs? You could look where the jobs are
Oddly you can check a different source and come up with a different list.
You are paid for it
If you got to work, you may as well get paid for it. So which jobs pay the best? Payscale has an answer that a lot of literature majors are not going to like. Of the top 30, 28 are STEM degrees with a heavy emphasis on Engineering.
You are good at it
The theory goes that if you are good at it, it must come easy to you and you must enjoy it. While this idea does not hold up under scrutinity (many people are good at stuff they work hard at and you can be good at thing you do not enjoy), it does suggest the idea of getting good at stuff. And some stuff is actually wanted by employers. According to National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE), employers desperately want college gradautes to
1. Ability to work in a team structure
2. Ability to make decisions and solve problems (tie)
3. Ability to communicate verbally with people inside and outside an organization
4. Ability to plan, organize and prioritize work
5. Ability to obtain and process information
6. Ability to analyze quantitative data
7. Technical knowledge related to the job
8. Proficiency with computer software programs
9. Ability to create and/or edit written reports
10. Ability to sell and influence others
You can start helping your teen developing these transferable skills through school work and particpation in clubs, activities and itnernships. Binghamton has a worksheet to self evaluate which skills you are developing.
While you can focus on developing these skills, these skills show up in the most unqiue places, often unexpectedly. Rita J. King advocated the value of serendipity in career development:
This suggests pushing your kids for unique exeriences.
“You need to be exposed to many things. You should expose yourself even though you might not know if you’ll be interested.” Linda Caldwell
I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.
A lot of people took this to mean “follow your passion!” Only that is not what Steve meant. He talked about finding what you love. Moreover he ends with this:
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Passion is wonderfully energizing, but also complicated as Robert Vallerand explains:
“Passion comes from a special fit between an activity and a person. You can’t force that fit; it has to be found.” Geneviève Mageau, psychology professor at the University of Montreal.
Peter Benson, president of the Search Institute provides a path for parents to follow in coaching their children in the book Sparks:
In addition, I suggest you need to help your kids adopt and use a growth mindset:
You can learn more about Carol Dweck’s work at her website and this video.
For parents of introverts, I strongly recommend reading Susain Cain’s great book Quiet:
Possibly the best book I have seen for teens is Cal Newport’s “how to be a high school superstar.”
Cal Newport offers great advice on his blog, Studyhacks. You can get a flavour of his insights at his talk at Google in which he makes the case to cultivate your passion. As Cal Newport states, “Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.”
Joy. Joy emerges when one’s current circumstances present unexpected good fortune. People feel joy, for instance, when receiving good news or a pleasant surprise. Joy creates the urge to play and get involved, or what Frijda (1986)termed free activation, defined as an “aimless, unasked-for readiness to engage in whatever interaction presents itself” (p. 89). The durable resources created through play are the skills acquired through the experiential learning it prompts.
Total time: 8:45 –More from the 
