Relating Youths especially talented in the Relating theme are good at establishing meaningful friendships and maintaining them.

• Strengthsfinder Link: Relator, Empathy, Includer, Woo,  Communication, 
  
• VIA Link: Social Intelligence, Capacity to Love
  

Five ways to develop Relating

1. Practice Empathy or as Steven Cover calls it, Seek First to Understand, than be understood. 
2. Learn to listen. It is not as easy as you think and far more important than you imagine.
3. Know yourself. To be effective at relating means you need a frame of reference from which to relate.
4. Note: Men and women relate differently to each other. Much of this may be due to socialization, but nevertheless, there is some science supporting different brain structures. Listen to Lise Elliot for fascinating insight from her book, Blue Brain, Pink Brain. Another great sinight comes from an older book, You Just don’t understand me. In a nutshell: Women discuss, men do.
5. Practice Cultural Intelligence in initiating relationships. Take a careful look at the 10 Cultural Dimensions outlined here and use this as a framework for relating.

 Tips for working with students strong in Relating:

• This person is all about relationships. Make sure you attend to building that relationship each time you connect with them.
• Demonstrate you care and continue to build trust. Both are super important to you.
• This person may well make decisions in the context of others. Ask them about people who are in their lives and how the decisions
• Arrange for this person to work with positive and ethusiastic people. They will pick up on it.
• Don’t be surprised if this person agrees with you…even when you are wrong. They may place value in harmonious interactions for keeping a relationship flowing.

Support for Relating

How to Build a Culture of Empathy

More great videos at the Culture for Empathy.

Read Vital Friends to discover the key aspects friendships

1. Builder

“Builders are great motivators, always pushing you toward the finish line. They continually invest in your development and genuinely want you to succeed — even if it means they have to go out on a limb for you” (87).

2. Champion

“Champions stand up for you and what you believe in. They are the friends who sing your praises. Every day, this makes a difference in your life. Not only do they praise you in your presence, but a Champion also ‘has your back’ — and will stand up for you when you’re not around” (93).

3. Collaborator

“A collaborator is a friend with similar interests — the basis for many great friendships. … When you talk with a collaborator, you’re on familiar ground … you often find that you have similar ambitions in work and life” (99).

4. Companion

“A companion is always there for you, whatever the circumstance. You share a bond that is virtually unbreakable. When something big happens in your life, this is one of the first people you call” (105).

5. Connector

“A connector is a bridge builder. …. Connectors get to know you — and then introduce you to others” (111). Connectors are always inviting you to lunch and other gatherings where you can meet new people, and point you in the right direction when you need something.

6. Energizer

“Energizers are your ‘fun friends’ who always give you a boost. You have more positive moments when you are with these friends. Energizers are quick to pick you up when you’re down — and can make a good day great” (117).

7. Mind Opener

‘Mind Openers are the friends who expand your horizons and encourage you to embrace new ideas, opportunities, cultures, and people. They challenge you to think in innovative ways and help you create positive change. Mind Openers know how to ask good questions, and this makes you more receptive to ideas” (123).

8. Navigator

“Navigators are the friends who give you advice and keep you headed in the right direction. You go to them when you need guidance, and they talk through the pros and cons with you until you find an answer. In a difficult situation, you need a Navigator by your side. They help you see a positive future while keeping things grounded in reality” (129).

For a more humorous look at Friendship

 

Read more about Growing the Strengths Explorer Theme of Relating from Strengths School